We can't wait another moment

All I need is a sign,

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 3:52 PM

Love,love,love

They say it is a beautiful thing to love sombody,but is it always beautiful?

2^nd half of 2009 have been pretty interesting I must say.With all those people that I have known,pretty much awesome.There were so much ups and downs.I;ve learnt a lot this few months,appreciating the one you have,seeing how real it is that there are actually some bad asses out there oh trust me,there is.Nice feature,bad personality =EPIC FAILURE.For me,it all comes down to how your personality portrays yourself,not your god damn outer looks.

Like a person that I just knew told me, ‘Beauty comes from within,don’t you think so Atikah?’Well yes I agree so much ;)

Another thing that I’ve noticed about myself is that I tend to give away my feelings too fast.No,it does not need to be how I feel towards boys but towards people.Somehow I feel that there’s a need to love people,whoever they are cause that’s how life should be,full of peace and love. But yea,I need to know that that is not necessarily ALWAYS a good thing to be giving away your feelings just about anytime :(

The feeling is not that nice okay to know you care about someone but it just torture you not knowing whether they feel the same way too.There are people who had walked into my life living a very deep yet sickening/irritating impact in me eventhough I do take my time to know them.Whereas there are some,who just touches your life or make you wonder about them every now and then by a mere hi or just by the way they call your name.

Yea it may seems silly,but i guess that’s how heart works.Atleast that’s how my heart works.I wished I could control what and how to feel but life’s like this.I can’t always control it.Most of the time,the feelings come just sooo naturally.Hell yes I am disappointed with myself ): Sometimes to get what you want,you have to take a chance,Risk it all,because(maybe) it is worth it.

IM JUST TOO SCARED TO TAKE THE CHANCE.

IM JUST TOO FRAGILE TO LET MY HEART BREAK.

Mm,I am missing you and that’s is so wrong.Really really wrong :’(

(WAH HOW COME YOUR KIND OF PEOPLE ALWAYS GETS ME FEELING THIS WAY :( HAHAHAHA)

I’m just lacking of words to explain my emotions.

There are just some things that you can’t deny…..like LOVE?

Labels: confused mode

you son of a....

Sunday, December 13, 2009 9:55 PM

WHEN MEN STOP BEING JERKS,THEN I'LL STOP BEING A BITCH,

You freaking egoist,stop playing with girls heart please,you know its fragile right.I know from the start,you were playing games,but oh boy,you just don't know how great I am in playing games,and even better,I ALWAYS win it.ALWAYS.

I'm sorry for you that you have finally meet me,a girl who is not so stupid to be falling for your traps.You think too lowly of me you bustard,

Haha,i know somehow a part of you feel defeated cause for once,there's a girl who didn't fall for it.I'm sorry heartbreaker,but i have break your heart this time round.Feel that pain,Im doing this for all those girls who have had their heart broken by you.Yes you are romantic,but in a very dirty EEW YUCKS BLEAHH way.EEWWWW,sicko.

We will cut all ties now please,but you know,its glad to know you somehow.May Allah bless you,really.

And how blessed i feel suddenly to have you Jay,really.

Labels: bless bless bless

Heart of mine,go back to where it once belong,

Thursday, December 3, 2009 10:34 AM

I swear I have been so tired nowadays,lessons getting so tense,ut 2 is coming.Wah,chill ah RP,our minds need a break man,tsk.And today will be the day that will decide everything alright?I am tired la,so let us just get it done and over with.And in the mist of all this works that I have in my life,I seriously need to find time to enjoy myselffffffffffffffffff.I really really need it,

♥

And this are my three girls,cute aren't they?The catch up session we had was great although it was short.It has been almost a year,true enough,the old friends,whatever shits that we have gone through,at the end of the day,they are still the one to brighten up my life,love you girls <3

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."

Labels: that's the forever kind

I never knew what changed

Tuesday, December 1, 2009 1:24 PM

You're probably thinking I've forgotten all about you by now,but that's far from it. I have missed you every waking day and my heart still hurts,and of course confused, but I'm getting better. I continue to smile and still go on without you. I know I have missed you,and you have too,but I have kept it all inside of me, only for me to know. I still wonder about your doings, how you are, what you're doing, what we used to talk about, to the laugh in your voice. Just, everything. I miss it all. However, I feel that the parting of us was for the best,because everything happens for a reason. You in camp,and here am I,in school.Should destiny put us into a crossing road in the future, that is when things will be better again. Until then, remember this; No matter what, even through the screaming fights, the disagreements, mistakes and the tears we've cried. Never, ever, did I give up on you. So if you ever need a helping hand, do not hesitate to ask. I may be far away, but I will always be in reach.Be safe in camp,love.

Labels: and lost, loved

If my love was a little bit stronger..

Sunday, November 29, 2009 4:43 PM

This was how i spent my holidays and also Aidiladha,it was kinda refreshing i guess to leave behind all my burdens and step into a whole different place where I could be care free.

The sacrificing was kinda cool yet sad,well the whole thing about Aidiladha is to help the poor by distributing free meat to them,Alhamdulillah.Glad that my auntie bought 6 lambs and sheep to do this good deed.May Allah bless you.Watch the process of sacrificing and I must say it did nearly make me cry cause the look on those animals,it was very pitiful i tell you.Its like,they know it was their time to go.Some of the animals even cried,I could see their tears rolling down during their last breath :'(

Sigh,my parents told me that it is not right to feel pitiful over this cause we have to whole heartedly let it go. Hmmm,

My thursday was....heart wrenching?Hah,

I am really thankful to God for letting me see by myself right in front of my eyes.I'm glad you're happy,I honestly am :')

Sue had always been there to support me,thanks babe,ily.Delighted to see you so happy on that day,I wished I could have spent more time with you and your beloved and ofcourse Si Cute mute tu,hahahaha but maybe next time alright? ;)

Oh yeaaa,and you are sucha sweet talker,god really,but i know you're a good person.Just that I dont want to make a mistake again,cause once I fall,I fall hard,idk im confuseddd :'(

To love,absence will make the heart grow fonder,let nature takes it course,hopefully everything will turn back to normal after your POP,hopefully <3

"Ask my friends. Anyone will tell you. When your name comes up in any conversation, no matter what its nature, my eyes sparkle, and my smile shines."

fuck that,fuck that fuck that ergh

Labels: it's out of control

life's bitter-sweet,thats what they say.

Sunday, November 22, 2009 12:24 PM

Thanks for everything last week <3

You know I appreciate it alot,really thank you<33

Idk what to feel anymore,really.I really think that my heart has gone through alot,more then what it can possibly take.For a moment it felt blissful,after that it hurts like crazy.

Please please please,as much as I know how much you are suffering in this school,and you wanna change to another school,it really hurts me to let you go away now,I mean we have been so close,so so close and when you told me that,my heat truly sank man.I know you're blessed with a gifted talent which will make it easier for you to enter that course but as much as you want me to pray that you hopefully get into the other school,I'm sorry,no im not praying for that to happen :( seriously,don't leave me.I still need you here,to hear to my stories,and even for me to hear all your stories.Please please please,don't go :'(

Oh and to p,i really dont know what to feel when I see you,I think i should feel happy instead of receiving pain for my heart right.Waited for you to talk,but you didn't so wtf should I feel anymore towards you,i fucking don't know.I really really hope,you are happy.You know you too are always in my prayer,

fuck you teenage life,you aren't as fun as i thought you will be.

Labels: thank you so much

There's no turning back now

Sunday, November 15, 2009 4:24 PM

You know,I have this connection with him, though he doesn't see it.

It's like I turn around without a reason I can think of and he's either passing by or
is standing nearby.I can pick him out of a crowd of over a hundred almost instantly sometimes.It's almost like I can feel his presence (no i swear it is true)I guess it's him,He is the one i talk about all the time,the one i can't stop thinking about.The one that can make me laugh when i don't even want to smile, the one that can make me feel better in a second.

I know i know,I have not been having proper updates but i don't feel like doing it.Maybe tomorrow or something,Idk.

Sometimes a heart can’t afford to be just friends.

Labels: you are blowing my mind